overeaters anonymous

ok, so 50 years of dieting, yea you read right, and I am not 100 years old, just dieting since nine years of age.
fast forward to this past summer, I joined Overaters Anonymous and I knew I was home.. I was  accepted and made to understand that there was nothing wrong with me and that I was not a pig, but that I Had an addiction. OA is your basic 12 step program, simple.... but not easy, like my sponsor says. You choose your food plan not a diet and the objective is to stop eating compulsively. OA is not concerned with weight loss., say what?
When you stop  eating compulsively the weight will come off in time. We acknowledge that we are powerless where food is concerned and ask God or whichever higher power we believe in to   help us. You don't even have ro believe, you can go on as if you do! Well, that's a novel  concept, but most people who show up at OA are on their last destination . We will do anything.
I have come a long way in terms of personal developement and was doing reasonably well, but this winter I started skipping meetings and not doing readings, or praying, no meditation. I don't know what happened. Am I just lazy?  Really what is going on?  I am an addict and I will always be addicted to food. For me all that really happened that I can see is that I went to bed later and later. Getting up later, feeling too tired to go to meetings and insidiously starting to nibble here and there and now full blown $%$#$^ hitting the fan.
What went wrong, remember this is the last stop for me and I have nowhere else to go. I spoke with my sponsor who is praying for me to get the willingness to get back to the work to be done. I need to start my day with readimg my OA literature, back to prayer, calming meditation,  etc. It's alot of work. You have to think about your program all through the day. You have to go through the 12 steps.  I need to do this, or I will have no life. Pray for me.